It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
