Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
