"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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