It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
