so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
