I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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