The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
