trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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