nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
