can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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