I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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