garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
