id be glad to
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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