we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
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