she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
