literally had 100 drinks last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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