what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
