perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do vagina's smell?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
