i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
