Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
