East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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