New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
