PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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