Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
