quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my fart just growled at me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
