even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
