i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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