she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
