I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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