the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
