i permit you to call me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
