Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
