sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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