i would punch a child for taco bell
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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