she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
