Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
