When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
