I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
