you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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