I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
