waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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