you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
