I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
