shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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