So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
