Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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