I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
