Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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