After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
