some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
