So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
