OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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