Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
